an After abortion

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Thursday, March 13, 2003

Is this woman over her abortion?

I am often surprised at the stories told by abortion-positive women. The stories appear to be put forward as a way of saying, "See? I did it, and I'm okay; I'm so grateful I could do that."

Yet it doesn't take much reading in-between-the-lines to wonder just how okay the woman really is about that part of her history.

Here's an outtake from an abortion story provided by the National Federation of Abortion Providers. This story is being told in response to comments by a feminist female abortion provider, who exults in abortion (if you don't believe me, click on the link) as a manifestation of a new, truly feminine, power over life and death.

"The second pregnancy I chose to terminate by legal abortion. I sometimes wonder if I chose abortion as a way of recreating that experience as one I could own, although at the same time, it was a choice I would have made regardless. The third I chose to terminate in the birth of my son.

I recall that moment when I was 6 weeks pregnant and found out I was pregnant with that desired pregnancy. It wasn't 6 weeks worth of substance in my uterus, it was a baby. I had a relationship with it.

"There was a moment of cognitive dissonance, of feeling crazy, about feeling so positive about this pregnancy and so clearly have made different decisions before, decisions I have never regretted."

I wonder what she did in that moment of cognitive dissonance, of feeling crazy.

I have to say (having gone through the same thing myself) it's pretty hard to keep chanting to yourself, "If I don't want it, it's just six weeks worth of substance. If I do want it, it's a baby."

Six weeks worth of substance. Baby. Six weeks worth of substance. Baby.

Tough balancing act.

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