an After abortion

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Thursday, September 25, 2003

Incredibly enough, yesterday's edition of the Dr. Phil show dealt with a couple suffering major sex problems as the result of an abortion.

Some quotes from the show:

"Tripp is one of the 20 million men in America who suffer from erectile dysfunction, and the condition has prevented him from consummating his two-and-a-half year marriage to Michelle. 'It's like a cancer eating me from the inside out,' Tripp says.

The problem stems from an abortion the couple had while they were engaged. 'I felt that the decision to terminate the pregnancy was forced upon me,' says Michelle. Tripp acknowledges his role in Michelle's unhappiness: 'When I made the decision to have the procedure, I think I lost a lot of her trust,' he says. Now, fear of failure keeps him from trying to have sex with his wife.

Tripp admits the only thing it could be is the abortion the couple went through. 'We weren't together very long when we had to deal with that,' Tripp says. 'And when it happened, it was like the sex went from 150 percent to zero. It was like the wall completely caved in on me.'

'The two of you got pregnant, the two of you went the route that you did, and don't both of you have to own that decision?' Dr. Phil asks the couple. He then addresses Tripp: 'Is it any wonder that you felt tremendous guilt and shame and pain over the decision and the pain it caused Michelle?'"

Go for it, Dr. Phil.

Unfortunately, he later tells them that what they must do is get over it and move it, without giving them any ideas about how to do that.

The last time they tried to have sex, as you can see from reading the transcript, Michelle ran from the room and cried for five hours. This is a situation that calls for more than the "okay, time to move on" advice.

This couple lost a child. They need to be allowed and encouraged to grieve together.

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