an After abortion

3,400 confidential and totally free groups to call and go to in the U.S...1,400 outside the U.S. . . . 98 of these in Canada.
Free, financial help given to women and families in need.More help given to women, families.
Helping with mortgage payments and more.More help.
The $1,950 need has been met!CPCs help women with groceries, clothing, cribs, "safe haven" places.
Help for those whose babies haveDown Syndrome and Other Birth Defects.
CALL 1-888-510-BABY or click on the picture on the left, if you gave birth or are about to and can't care for your baby, to give your baby to a worker at a nearby hospital (some states also include police stations or fire stations), NO QUESTIONS ASKED. YOU WON'T GET IN ANY TROUBLE or even have to tell your name; Safehaven people will help the baby be adopted and cared for.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Letter from a reader

I just wanted to drop you a line to say thank you so much for your blog. I have been through the horrors of post-abortion stress syndrome as a result of my sister's abortion ten years ago. My symptoms were so severe that I had to quit my job (I worked around children, and would break down and cry on a weekly basis). As my sister's actions were and remain a secret known only by me and her, I couldn't explain to anyone what was wrong with me, why I was goiing through such a terrible bout of depression, crying fits, obsessions with fertility (I know the total fertility rates of every western nation! lol) etc... It was a terrible thing to have to live with, and it has only been in the past few months that the symptoms have begun to lift and I have found myself able to begin putting myself back together.

I will never forget, during my last day at college, I experienced a "visitation" (which I have since learned is not uncommon) by my aborted niece. I saw her as the saddest little girl, walking behind me to my car, and at the time I had no idea who she was or what she had to do with me. All I knew was that she carried with her an incredible sorrow, and she seemed, in some way, to transfer that sadness onto me. It was from that point on that my experiences with P.A.S.S. began in earnest. To this day, I can't remember that walk back to my car without wanting to cry or punch
something. Some "doctor" has butchered my only niece and thrown her tiny body in the trash, leaving me without even a grave to go to, and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

I have told my sister about my experiences and while she regrets the abortion she has also told me, flat out, that I am "crazy" and "overdramatic" for having been so effected. But I could not decide how her abortion would haunt me. I didn't ask that little girl to follow me home from class that day, I didn't decide to fall apart afterwards. Sometimes in life there really is no choice. I fear that I will be haunted with this until I die, and I bitterly resent my sister - both for what she has done to her daughter and for the callousness she has shown me.

So thank you so much for speaking out about the consequences of "choice". For every person like you who is in a position to do so, there are hundreds of us who cannot but are silently rooting you on. Don't ever forget that.
Thank you.

It's hard enough to say that our own abortion bothers us, since it ain't supposed to. This adds the burden of either feeling like we're crazy because our emotional reaction is so out of step with what we expected, or accepting our feelings but enduring social rejection for having them.

How much harder to say that we are bothered by someone else's abortion. And yet I know of many who are, who feel no right whatsoever to their feelings.

Rachel's Vineyard weekend retreats welcome those who did not personally have an abortion but who are nonetheless suffering because of an abortion. I encourage this reader to accept the gift of this weekend.

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