Abortion: finding healing and hope. Nonjudgmental program offers helps to women coping with unresolved feelings about abortions.

From the March 13 edition of the Des Moines Register.

For three decades, the issue of abortion has polarized this nation. While anti-abortion and pro-choice factions try to win the war of words and legislation, approximately 30 million women terminated an unplanned pregnancy.

Abortion is such an emotionally and politically charged issue that those who experience it often are unable to grieve their loss for fear of exposure or more emotional pain, according to mental health specialists.

Friends and family often fail to understand the enormity of their pain and suffering, according to Dr. Theresa Burke, author of "Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion. "Burke created Rachel's Vineyard, a nonjudgmental, nondenominational program that gives women and men a supportive, confidential environment for healing.

Last year, 250 Rachel's Vineyard weekend retreats were offered in 45 states and 11 countries. Iowa's first will be held April 16-18 in Council Bluffs.

Unresolved issues connected to abortion become a heavy burden for women who say they face a daily internal battle between condemning themselves and defending their choice.

and much more.

Woman Tells John Kerry She Regrets Her Abortion, Staffer Destroys Her Sign

"Then it happened,"[Rebecca] Porter explains. "He reached up to shake a hand in the back and his eyes went up to my sign [which read "My Abortion Hurt Me."]. He read it and then he looked into the crowd to see who was holding it -- and he looked me directly in the eyes."

"I hope he saw my pain. I was not angry, just pleading with him to understand. You could see the shock and surprise on his face," Porter said.

But within seconds, a Kerry campaign staff member approached Porter and grabbed her sign. "You can't have that sign here," the Kerry staffer said. The sign tore and Porter let go. After he had possession of it, the Kerry staffer "tore it to pieces" and walked away. "He wouldn't even let me have the pieces," Porter said.

The reaction, and even comments, of all the onlookers tells it ALL.

I've just written Kerry an email to express my dismay, and to tell him that if he ever makes a campaign stop in Connecticut, he and his staffers will see that sign again, in my hands, on publicly accessible property. I've written my e-letter's subscribers and Kerry might very well get about 5,000 emails on this from them and their own personal networks. You can write Kerry here or go to the webform page.

I won't be looking for a confrontation if Kerry ever comes to the state, but all I can say is, I do hope their staffers don't try to take my sign out of MY hands.

This family constellation therapist in Pasadena, California believes that past abortions cause current problems.

Stumbled across this blog post about an adopted son realizing he could have been aborted by a birth father who didn't want to go through life "knowing he had a son or daughter somewhere out there whom he would never know...caus[ing] him a life of anguish..." As a result, this young man became firmly pro-life.

I myself am adopted, and you would have thought my brain would have kicked in 25 years ago and said, "Hey, wait a minute, don't do to your daughter what your natural mom didn't do to you," but it didn't. And pro-abortion people deny the power of denial! Also links to a great recent article by a pro-life atheist.

Could there be anything more life-affirming, more empowering and more wonderful in every way than abortion?

Not to mention how fashion forward abortion is.

Critics attack proposed Maryland 24-hour-waiting period for abortion.

Another article on last week's Senate subcommittee hearing about the impact of abortion on women.

“Like children who close their eyes and think no one can see them, pro-abortion advocates deny that abortion harms women right in front of women who candidly and courageously revealed how abortion hurt them," said Wendy Wright, senior policy director of Concerned Women for America. "If they are confident that abortion is painless, then they shouldn’t oppose objective scientific studies to investigate a procedure that impacts millions of women.”

Woman charged in infant death.

Another tragic story with implications for how people view abortion. In this case, a woman in Salt Lake City is being charged with murder because she refused the advice of several doctors that she have a Caesarean section to give birth to her twins. The twins were not doing well in utero in the last month of the pregnancy. The mother didn't want the scar that would be left by the C-section, so she refused the surgery. By the time she gave birth, one of the babies had died.

Operation Outcry/Silent No More (not to be confused with the Silent No More Awareness Campaign) is asking women who have had abortions to contact legislators in South Dakota.

Caron Strong, the California state leader of Silent No More/Operation Outcry, is asking post-abortive women to write to legislators in South Dakota, or even to travel to Pierre, South Dakota, on March 14-15, to "hold signs that describe how abortion specifically hurt you". This event will be held at the Capitol Building in Pierre from 7:00 AM until 10:00 AM on March 14. Women will line the steps of the building as the legislators come in for the day.

Women who are interested can contact Caron by email.

Research sought into side-effects of abortion.

Check out the comments under the story.

Waiting With Love is a fine webpage that offers support to parents who have learned that their child will die shortly before or after birth.


Carrying to Term has a similar focus.

Tales of Abortion: a new documentary about the abortion experiences of women in the black community.

A reasonably thorough update on the Justice Dept.'s effort to get medical records from late-term abortionists.

It's reasonably thorough because as opposed to a number of other articles I've seen on the subject, it clarifies that the Justice Department has only made a small strategic retreat as opposed to throwing in the towel.

Question for my readers: Is it an invasion of your medical privacy to have your records turned over to the feds, as long as your name and any other identifying information is removed?

Witnesses ask U.S. Senate for research into side-effects of abortion on women.

This is quite an informative account of the hearing held last week before the U.S. Senate subcommittee on Science, Technology and Space.

U.S. Senator Frank Lautenberg (Democrat-New Jersey) used his platform there to try to dissuade his fellow senators from taking an interest in funding research on the impact of abortion on women. Would you like to write to him? Do that here.

Another witness, Roselyn Smith-Withers of the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice (RCRC), told the subcommittee that she had never met a woman who regretted her abortion, but had "met many women who regretted having children."

Here's a link to the RCRC's press release about what Rev. Smith-Withers told the subcommittee. (It doesn't mention the comment about women regretting having children.)

The RCRC does not provide an easy way to communicate with its spokespeople--the best you can do is send an email here, and hope that they forward it. Let me know if any of you get a response. I'll do the same.

Help me out here. I got a call yesterday from a male acquaintance. He is in touch with a woman in her mid-20s who has asked him for help and referrals. This woman was raped when she was in high school. She is going through a time when her feelings about this have come back in an intense way and she feels traumatized and overwhelmed.

Normally I would have suggested that the young woman call her local rape crisis center. My thought would be that they would have a referral list of local counselors who would be skilled at helping her through this.

However, coincidentally, last week another friend of mine told me about a bad experience at a rape crisis center. Specifically, the counseling assistance that her friend received was therapy directed to getting her to see that the rape was just one event of many in her life. In other words, the rape and the feelings associated with it should not take up 99% of the space in her head because the rape was only a tiny part of her life.

I can see some value to that as a counseling approach. It didn't help my friend's pal, though, and I can see that, too. It wouldn't help the person identify and grieve the losses she sustained in the rape.

What advice do my readers have?

Doctors in The Netherlands mull over the pros and cons of aggressive prenatal screening.

The Interim is a Canadian pro-life magazine which I only recently became aware of because they've invited me to review a book for them.

Looking around their website, I learned for the first time that there's a group of Canadian women active in being silent no more about their abortion regrets.

Together for Life is the website of one of the leading members of the Canadian Silent No More group.

Women tell Senate panel how abortion hurt them.

On Wednesday, the Commerce Subcommittee on Science, Technology and Space, chaired by Senator Sam Brownback, a Kansas Republican, heard testimony from women who suffered physically and psychologically after their abortions.

"After 31 years, abortion continues to be an unchecked and unstudied experiment on women," said Cathy Cleaver Ruse, a spokeswoman for the bishops' Secretariat for Pro-Life Activities. "We are grateful to Senator Brownback for shedding light on the reality of women's experience with abortion."

Michaelene Jenkins, a self-described defender of women's rights, testified that her abortion at 18 left her feeling "violated and betrayed."

It "wasn't the end of my nightmare, but only the beginning," she said. "I was completely unprepared for the emotional fallout after the abortion."

Georgette Forney had an abortion at age 16, and said she waited 19 years before she sought help. After her own recovery she began to help others online, and received e-mails from thousands of women who "shared their abortion pain and how their lives were a mess."

"They always expressed relief to know help was available and they weren't alone in their pain," Forney added.

Several of our readers have sent us links to the story about this bit of odd editing at the Los Angeles Times last week.

Die Frau ohne Schatten is an opera currently in production at the Los Angeles Opera. Los Angeles Times music critic Mark Swed wrote in his review that the Richard Strauss opera is "pro-life". By this, he says that he meant that the opera is a "celebration of life". However, the phrase "pro-life" was changed by a Los Angeles Times copy editor to "anti-abortion", following standard editing protocol at that paper.

This story has run in a number of venues, and what everyone (including music critic Mark Swed) is saying is that when he wrote "pro-life", he didn't intend the phrase to have its popular political meaning. The point of the story seems to be that the copy editor at the LA Times was a goof, and applied the Los Angeles Times policy--of always using the phrase "anti-abortion" when we're talking about people who are politically pro-life--in an inappropriate context, when that's not at all what was meant by the phrase.

And maybe that's all that happened. However, this interpretation of the story requires us to believe that it never occurred to Mark Swed when he wrote "pro-life" that someone might interpret that in what is now its standard political meaning. How plausible is that?

And if you read a synopsis of the opera, it seems even less likely.

The opera is rife with unborn babies begging to be born. The adults who want them to be born are the good guys. Lots of people who are pro-life--in the accepted political meaning of that term--would look at this opera and say, "This is a pro-life opera."

Update: See kindred but better-expressed thoughts on this here.

Arizona newspaper The East Valley Tribune editorializes in favor of a 24-hour waiting period.

Requiring a 24-hour wait might well save some women from the extreme regret that can engulf them later when they realize what was lost. The bill was noble in intent and would have been sound public policy. But while that particular measure is lost, perhaps the debate itself has elevated Arizona’s regard for the wondrous thing we call life.

An interesting conversation on the Ms. magazine bulletin board about psychiatry, feminist psychiatrists and someone who was sent to a psychiatrist in 1971 because she had an abortion.