an After abortion

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Monday, November 28, 2005

What's on my mind lately are marriages within which an abortion has occurred, and the spouses begin to diverge in their views about that abortion: one spouse may experience the abortion as deeply traumatic and troubling, and come to intensely regret it. The other spouse may continue to believe that the abortion was the right thing to do, and may experience no negative emotional fallout from it.

I know a number of married couples that are experiencing this divergence of attitude and values.

How can a couple repair this?

If a wife is traumatized and deeply regretful about an abortion they chose, and if she herself strove to avoid thinking about what an abortion is and the impact it is having on her for some years, it will make sense to her that her husband is just temporarily in a different place but might eventually come around.

I'm thinking more these days about marriages where, in the wife's opinion, the likelihood that her husband will regret the abortion and grieve for their lost child is vanishingly small.

Can such a marriage survive as a healthy, vital marriage?

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