It Makes Me Soooo Proud.

Ahh, lovely, bucolic Connecticut. Land of the "the Statue of Liberty holding a condom instead of a torch" keychain/condom holder, and the Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel one, The Creation of Adam, only God's hand is handing Adam a condom packet. And the American Flag condom, bearing the words, "Wear with Pride."

All thanks to the brilliant minds at Planned Parenthood of Connecticut, my home state, which think that

everyone should have a condom.

Rank this right up there on the blaspheme-o-meter with the "Holiday" parody of "Peace on Earth," "Choice On Earth."

Yeah, I can see it now: I'm on a date with some guy, he turns the key to start the car, and I see one of those dangling from the steering column. That just makes me want to go "Ooh-ahh, I've got me a live one here," don't it?

Forgive me my sarcasm. It kinda goes along with that retching sound you hear...

I'm moving to North Carolina...Kansas...anywhere but here...