Welcome to a new commenter. My first response: NO ONE who visits here is ever wasting our time...
I am 14 years old,and my friend has just had a baby...She kept it,this was probably not the right descision.I feel she should have given it up for adoption because she can't care for him.Jen, Your friend can contact any of a number of "crisis pregnancy centers" in your area for help in raising her baby, or if she finds it too much after all to do so at some point, they can still help if she decides to allow another family to adopt her baby. Just click on the "3,400 confidential and totally free groups to call and go to in the U.S...1,400 outside the U.S." link just underneath the blog title and then pick any of those links or phone numbers and she can get one near her and they will be OVERJOYED to help her.
14 years ago,my mom was a drug addict,and apperently she didn't want me.She considered abortion.But something changed her,and she put me up for adoption.It makes me feel unloved either way,but i know she did the right thing or I wouldnt be here today and now I have people who love me.I would have respected her desicion either way.I still love her,even though ived never met her.But yet I still hate her somewhere deep down.I just went to the Pro-Life rally in DC.But my friend said its a choice.The goverment can not control us,but theres so many people that want babies...I mean at least a quarter of abortions can be stopped through adoption.I know my comment will probably be deleted and no one will read it.But there is hope,and I pray for every single one of you and if you are pregnant your babies also.Just remember,there are stories just like mine...rather children,just like me out there.
But don't Let anyone,hurt you because of your decisions.If you do believe in god.He has forgiven you,if this comment has hurt you I am very sorry...I just,well.I wanted to share my story perhaps?Im not really sure what drove me to write this comment.But im sorry for wasting you time...
I too was put up for adoption many, many years ago, when having an out-of-wedlock baby was really a scandal.
A lot of how we adopted folks feel about it depends on when we were told we were adopted and how it was treated. I "just always knew," from ever since I could remember, and it was always just matter of fact, that someone loved me enough to have me but just couldn't take care of me so did the hardest and most unselfish thing she could do: give me up for some other family or couple to take the best care of me possible.
I find it possible to be grateful to my birth mom for doing that for me, realizing it must kill her to know I'm out here somewhere, where she'll never get to love me face-to-face. How hard it is to let go of your infant child, I only fully understood once I was pregnant and having my son myself. But then, I'm old enough to be your grandmom!
Don't be too hard on yourself, especially at 14. Someday, maybe, you'll feel better about not hating on your bmom too much, like when you're married and having a baby. That's ok. All this takes a lot of time to deal with. A lifetime, probably.
She gave you the best she could--and that was giving you to someone else who could love and care for you better. It may seem like she "gave up" on you, but I think it's the popular culture and media that allow people to feel that that's how it's supposed to feel. It isn't.
That kind of referring to adoption also happens because many who are pro-abortion like to scare women into not allowing their babies to be adopted. They're deathly afraid of 14 year old young women like you--who are already smart enough to know that there are TONS of people wanting to adopt TONS of those supposedly "unwanted" babies. IF YOU CAN ALREADY KNOW THIS, their little pro-abortion cash-cow industry starts to crumble and they don't get away with fooling the majority of us any longer that it's about "choice" and it's about "what's best for the woman."
Thanks for commenting, Jen. Hang in there. There is tons of help and hope, and hopefully we can just help folks find it easier and faster. Your sending some along is great, and we appreciate your taking the time to write so thoughtfully and honestly.
We've written posts about the lucrative industry that abortion is, analyzing Planned Parenthood's Annual Reports, and also how many, many people really are trying and available to adopt "unwanted" babies in this and other countries. You can go to our special "FULL-SEARCH Aa BLOG" at the right in the sidebar and Google those links.