an After abortion

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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

A reader in Singapore sends us this link:

He wanted to marry girlfriend, he wanted to keep the baby, but boyfriend right to fight abortion.

He wanted the girl and the baby, she didn't want him or the baby. Her parents didn't want him or the baby, either. The baby was five months along.

When I read articles like this one, my gut-level reaction to the man is often not one of sympathy. It seems from the article that he reacted with shocked self-absorption when he first heard of the pregnancy. And if he wanted to protect and nurture his child, why didn't he think about that before having sex with someone to whom he was not married, whose parents did not like him, and who, if asked, probably could have told him she didn't object to abortion and wasn't prepared to carry a pregnancy to term?

To a certain extent, also, this man and other men in this position sometimes come across as wanting the baby not so much for the sake of the child but more because it helps them gain continued access to their girlfriend. The sad emotions seem, to me, to be tinged with a certain degree of self-pity over what amounts to a huge rejection from the former girlfried, as opposed to a focus on the loss of their child.

I guess who I feel most sorry for is the baby.

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