"I would be treated with respect as long as you were around"

"Annie Banno, I remember you from some time ago, from another venue. Specifically I remember that someone was once unkind to me, and made a derogatory comment mocking me, when I shared my own reasons for having an abortion. I expected that to be that, because in a lot of these discussions the vibe is basically that you either adamantly regret your abortion, or you lose any right to be treated with respect. But you and Emily stood up for me and for the fact that I deserved to be treated with respect, or at least that I would be treated with respect as long as you were around. We disagreed on many things but when someone took to insulting me, your attitude was unequivocally that I deserved better. That has always stayed with me and I have never forgotten it.

"I haven't been online much in the past couple weeks but I'm glad I stumbled onto this discussion, because I am so happy to have a chance to tell you how important that one act of kindness was to me. I hope you're well.

Posted by: Alexandra

Thank you, Alexandra. I am very, very touched, and so glad I stumbled back upon that thread, all these years later. I wish I could thank you back!

This was posted on the comments box of another blog over 4 years ago, which I just discovered today--one in which I and 4 or 5 other commenters objected to condemnatory, harsh language used by the blogger which could send anyone seeking healing from their abortions back into secrecy out of fear, and in which I--post-abortive myself, and they knew this--was condemned as dehumanizing and forgetting the unborn children. I was going to excerpt the difficult discussion that led up to this remarkable comment, but it could do our readers more harm than good to dredge up the hurtful things that blog and its defenders were defending saying. Suffice to say, though their intentions are good, not all "pro-life" people speak the truth in love, which is the short way of describing what Emily founded our blog to be:

"a place where these seekers can get useful information--the realization that there are resources, others who have gone through the same difficulties, and hope for the future...and not have to wade through a lot of dreck to get the information they want.

"It's important to us that post-abortive individuals--who are or are NOT involved in the post-abortion movement-- aren't embattled and attacked by comments left here. People who want to do that are, of course, free to start their own blogs.

"Both Annie and I believe that helplessness and powerlessness play a significant role in virtually every abortion decision. We believe that compassion is the appropriate response, and that compassion shouldn't be conditional on whether or not someone perceives her abortion through the same cognitive and religious eyes as mine."